Movie Review: The Dark Knight

B. Pike - youngest of the pike brothers, movie buff, and the one and only reader of this blog has a guest post with his review of the The Dark Knight, and it's awesome - my response to come at the end. [Spoilers like woah, but if you haven't seen this movie yet, stop reading and go buy a ticket.]

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

Christians regained faith in god after watching The Passion; I regained faith in god after watching The Dark Knight. To describe the experience I had on July 18, at 12:05 AM, is nearly impossible, but I will make a feeble attempt at doing it justice. Roughly 1 year ago, I began reading the buzz on a sequel to what was the greatest Batman movie of all time, Batman Begins. Christian Bale was returning to don the cape and cowl, Michael Cane the cummerbund, Gary Oldman the badge, and Morgan Freeman the bowtie. We then learn that the role of Harvey Dent will be played by Aaron Eckhart, to which the “internet” responds rather kindly, but now the question jaunting movie-buffs’ and fanboys’ minds is who will be staggering into the purple suit of the clown prince of crime. Throughout the web, you could read the suggestions of those who believe they know so much more than the professional casting directors, Crispin Glover, Paul Bettany, and you could even read “If Jack Nicholson doesn’t reprise his role, I’m boycotting the film.” Everyone was so set on who they wanted as the Joker and despite all the blabber; Christopher Nolan made the decision that slapped all those jackasses right in their pimply faces, Heath Ledger.

The moment his name was mentioned, the internet was in flames: “Brokeback Batman, 10 Things I Hate About Gotham" and many more unoriginal fooling statements. I read the decision and mulled it over in my mind for some time, before finally IMing (remember when AIM was cool?) my eldest brother “R. Pike” and we were in agreement that Heath's portrayal had the potential to be awesome, but also the chance to be disastrous. How wrong we were, we should be lashed for having even a shadow of a doubt, but there is some light within my shame, that all those naysayers castrated themselves after downloading the pirated version (I both love and despise the internet).

Ledger’s performance was something I had never seen before on screen, the 'mis en scene' that was created was remarkable, because every time he walked into a room there was an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, whether it was a new tale about his scars or the eerie and unsettling score by Hans Zimmer. Unfortunately for his fellow thespians his astounding presence left them in shadows of greatness so vast no one could shine. I've even heard ludicrous accounts that Bale was overrated, and that he was nothing compared to Ledger.

You simply cannot compare Ledger and Bale, because he's playing Bruce Wayne with everything the character has to offer, while The Joker has innumerable layers and facets of his psychosis to delve into; which is something no popular cinematic character has ever had. If Bale was playing The Joker it would have been fantastic as well, he's a phenomenal actor, and he simply had exhausted all of the resources of his character. Aaron Eckhart was great at playing the political idealist, and when he is presented to us, you can't help but believe in him, he's a political Batman, and he's not hiding in shadows. He's also very aware of the risks of his job, yet still performs his duties to the fullest, he is truly The White Knight, but white is easily stained.

Dent's catalyst SPOILER ALERT is the death of his one true love, Rachel Dawes. After this moment everything Dent had was lost, she was the thread that held his life together, and when it was plucked he fell into madness, which proves he was weaker than Bruce Wayne, who managed to keep himself together after the death of his parents. The Joker explains to Dent that his plan to defeat crime and injustice was impossible, because chaos is a basic and necessary part of nature. The question now left buzzing around my head is did the Joker win, ultimately Dent's reputation was saved due to the sacrifice of Batman's, yet Batman still broke his one rule he, intentionally or unintenionally, caused the death of Harvey Dent, who had to die to remain pure, but nevertheless Dent’s blood is on his hands.

Needless to say there were some errors in the means of telling the story, the main one being the confusion between Batman going to save Rachel and winding up saving Dent, which I have surmised to be The Joker playing with his mind and switching up the addresses. There are also some mistakes with how they convey how many people Dent killed, Gordon claims it was five, I count four maybe three, Detective Wuertz, one of Maroni's bodyguard, which you can quickly see Dent dispatching of before Maroni gets in the car, Maroni's driver, and I'm assuming Maroni. Like most movies - and always with comic book movies you have to suspend disbelief to enjoy it. This comic book movie just happens to have the most real fantastical premises we have ever seen. Simply because a movie has flaws, does not mean it can't be the best of all time. Perfection in art is impossible. But its progress, (the pursuit of perfection) can be marked and measured easily. Clearly, The Dark Knight has gotten us one step closer to that unreachable goal. Hopefully all of the flash will be trimmed when this bitch gets released on DVD, I can't wait, seeing as I've already seen it 5 times and counting.

Stringer Bell, Chicago School of Economics

Adam Smith called smugglers heroes - men who sought to offer the price of their goods without any added expenses for whatever regulating body tried to get involved. Less costly from the supplier, less expensive for the buyer, and therefore more goods to be bought and sold at a fair price for all parties included. With no middlemen (who don't add any value) creating useless additional costs, the smuggler offers the truest and fairest price of a good or service.

All throughout the hit show the Wire, Stringer remains the most business smart, calculating man in the series. A’s on his microeconomic courses, likens himself to a CEO, discusses markets and strategy with his professors, has to explain shit all the time to his subordinates. Even after his death, McNulty finds a copy of A Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations. But the coolest part, is his true adherence to principles of the Chicago school. Straight up, no bullshit, neoclassical, conservative, Chicago school econ. (The conventional definition of conservative, not Milton's. Friedman, accurately, always called himself a liberal.) While he’s had no remorse in eliminating business threats through violent means (hostile takeovers,) after his empirical analysis, he does generally shift toward a total Laissez–Faire, market-forces-only operation during the co-op period with Proposition Joe. He tries to use those increased profits to look into some legitimate business deals under the direction of the senator Clay Davis, but sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit, he becomes frustrated with the highly regulated, bureaucratic process of these legit ventures. Lo and behold, he gets hoodwinked by a corrupt politician. (Every conservative economist's nightmare.)

On the streets, interestingly enough, the blood-thirsty, bellicose, power-hungry Avon Barksdale is actually the liberal, in favor of larger government, increased regulations (by his own weapons and ferocity) that fuck up natural market forces. Avon's interference with the market equilibrium destroys value, when there’d actually be larger real societal gains (more drugs and money for all) if he left it alone.

But still, ya know, drugs are bad.

Suicide Bombers and Pussy

Generation Kill is an incredibly awesome mini-series - not that you'd expect anything less from David Simon, Ed Burns and co. The writing, acting, and most importantly, story are nearly perfect. And by the end of it, the Godfather will either place or show in my ultimate badass heirarchy: Stringer Bell, Batman, Forrest Griffin.

Besides badassery, another of my favored values is of course, unapologetic sarcasm. This rant is fucking brilliant. The dialog is between Cpl. Josh Ray Person (Ziggy Sabotka on the Wire) and the reporter from the Rolling Stone.

"Oh, there's layers of retardation that most people don't even know about. You should quote me on that. Look at this shit. How come we can't ever invade a cool country...like chicks in bikinis, you know? How come countries like that don't ever need Marines? I'll tell you why. It's lack of pussy that fucks countries up. Lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability. If more hajjis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over here and fuck them up like this. 'Cause a nut-busted hajji is a happy hajji."

"It's an interesting theory though."

"Yeah, you should quote me on it. Matter of fact, you should definitely quote me on it. This whole fucking thing, it comes down to pussy. Look, if you took the Republican guard, comped their asses in Vegas for a weekend, no more fucking war."

"So this war isn't about oil or WMDs?"

"No. In the opinion of this Marine, it's about pussy."

"And it's not about Saddam?"

"Saddam's just part of the problem. Look if Saddam invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Iraq than he did on his fucking gay-ass army, than this country would be no more fucked up than say, Mexico."

Awesome. And as we well know, stuff is funny cause it's true. Check out #4 in this article written by the evolutionary psychologists Alan S. Miller Ph.D. & Satoshi Kanazawa Ph.D.

Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

"So polygyny increases competitive pressure on men, especially young men of low status. It therefore increases the likelihood that young men resort to violent means to gain access to mates. By doing so, they have little to lose and much to gain compared with men who already have wives. Across all societies, polygyny makes men violent, increasing crimes such as murder and rape, even after controlling for such obvious factors as economic development, economic inequality, population density, the level of democracy, and political factors in the region."

Christ, even a FRENCH writer pointed this out way back when in like 1930. From Antoine de Saint-Exupery's Wind, Sand and Stars (great book, Outside magazines #1 adventure, Nat'l Geographic's # 3.)

"In Paris," [the Moors] said, "you walk through a crowd of a thousand people. You stare at them. And nobody carries a rifle!"

"You take one Moor from each tribe," they went on. "You take him to the circus. And nevermore will tribes of Er-Reguibat make war on the French."

Pre-sexual revolution, but the point remains the same. Deny people that which is natural, healthy and good (and the freedom and opportunity to pursue these things) and you get violent and destructive backlash.

Further reading:
Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters
Generation Kill
Tons of shit I haven't read yet and admittedly don't know enough about this topic, but it's worth learning.

Fuck Croutons

write what you hate

"...another variant on the old chestnut of writing what you know. There are numerous sensible folks out there that have pointed out that writing what you know should not be literally interpreted as writing about your life or about your exact experiences. A broader and more useful interpretation is to use your emotional experiences to help drive your characters. And here’s where I come to the crux of writing what you hate. Hatred and anger are emotions like any other. They may be ugly and very not nice, but they are real. Everybody feels it (whether they admit it or not). Everybody has different pushbuttons that set them off–and most often we’re not in a position to really do anything sensible to blow off steam. So what am I to do with all this pent up angst and fury? Well, I’ll tell you. I’m going to go vilely murder someone. On paper of course."

Done. Fuck croutons. Little pieces of shit-sellout soulless stale bread:

"As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him" John 13:27

Fuck, there isn't anything I hate more. Sure, terrorists and communism and the Yankees, but we're (arguably) taking care of all those things. Nothing, unfortunately, is being done about the fucking cataclysm that is the crouton. No one has said anything to start what is a very necessary war - until now.

All great military strategists followed one of the most ancient principles of war, Sun Tzu's "Know Your Enemy." General Macarthur read Mein Kampf and all of his other enemies' books so as to better understand how they'd make decisions. The most brilliant modern day strategist, Robert Greene has this to say from 33 Strategies of War:

"The target of your strategies should be less the army you face than the mind of man or woman woman who runs it. If you understand how that mind works, you have the key to deceiving and controlling it. Train yourself to read [croutons,] picking up the signals they unconsciously send about their innermost thoughts and intentions...by finding your opponents' psychological weaknesses, you can work to unhinge their minds."

Two important goals: Firstly, figure out who or what nation is the puppetmaster behind the atrocity of the sheer existence of the crouton. Secondly, we've got to get inside the heads and figure out exactly what they want. And so, I've done some of the preliminary research and analysis on these fuckers.

Wiki Croutons:

"The word crouton is derived from the French croûte, meaning 'crust.'"

No surprises there. Cheese-eating surrender monkeys fucking up the name and packaging and presentation of something that was fine as it was (bread), along the likes of water (now bottled and named and exploited) and...crepes (toss whatever the fuck you want in some dough.)

"A crouton is a small piece of sautéed or rebaked bread."

What the shit does rebaked mean? What was wrong the first time around? Some jackass french bakery owner who couldn't manage his business well enough (because he didn't want to do any work) had a shitload of bread left over, so he decided to cube it up, dunk it in some olive oil and spices, toss it the oven, and dupe everyone into thinking it was a brilliant complement to a salad. Fuck you, frenchman.

"A dish prepared à la Grenobloise has a garnish of small croutons along with brown butter, capers, parsley, and lemon."

Only pretentious assholes hold croutons in any reasonable regard. The rest of those garnishes in that "a la gremlins" nonsense are legitimate upgrades for your food. They come in a form thats been altered only once, not having undergone so many metamorphoses that it's totally unrecognizable from its original form. Spending money on croutons whether on your salad or by actually purchasing them, you are making a blatant statement that you are so affluent with so much discretionary income that you can buy stale, dry, worthless bread - aka trash. Fuck you, you elitist prick.

"Nearly any type of unsweetened bread, in a loaf or pre-sliced, with or without crust, may be used to make croutons."

See, a blatant statement about how worthless croutons are. In econ, scarcity increases value. The less of something there is, the higher the price, the more work and resources you're willing to commit to glean whatever utility you desire from it. Steak over burgers for example. You pay more for a nicer cut of beef that's not processed, you spend more time and effort marinating and cooking it to your desired specifications, and you generally regard steak with higher standards and an understanding that you'll enjoy it more than a burger. Not croutons. "...nearly any time of unsweetened bread" - no fucking variety or originality or important characteristics distinguish them. The unique, specialized, highly valued breads from which they came no longer matter. It's all the same shit in crouton form, and accordingly tastes like its valued. As shit.

So what's to be done? The tricky part is that these things survive better than roaches. Most food - that is, nourishing, soulful and essential food - has to be stored in some particular fashion to preserve taste and freshness. Not croutons. Stale, dry, decrepit, and worthless - that's how the crouton is supposed to be - it can't go bad. Makes storage pretty easy.

"Monseuir Pierre, we 'ave no more plastic bags or refrigoration space for ze croutons!"

"Fuck off, boy. Can't you see it is noon and I 'ave finished working for 'ze day?! Don't bother me with your petty problems, or you'll have to go be unemployed with 'ze other nine percent of ze country. Throw ze croutons in the stable with ze donkeys. We'll say ze 'orrible smell is a new flavor!"

Remind me not to try writing fiction. Whatever, the point is, fuck croutons, they're worthless. If your bread is stale, give it to a homeless shelter. Ship it off to North Africa. Throw it the fuck away. Do not buy into this uppity fad that's been around for decades too long. I'm declaring war on croutons, and in this war we are like Sith Lords, we only deal in absolutes. You're either with us and for the proliferation of a croutonless world, or you're against us and will be dealt with accordingly. The choice is yours.

Korea at Night

Below is a really cool satellite image of Korea (North and South) taken at night. It serves as a great visual comparative example of the wealth and health of a nation whose embraced capitalist and democratic policies, with that of a nation without such freedoms. There's hundreds of comparative statistics from population, birth and mortality rates, caloric intake, GNP per capita, and even physical stature of the citizens of each country. (S. Koreans average like half an inch taller than their grass-eating counterparts.)The societal health statistics of the overall South Korean nation absolutely dwarf those of the N. Korea.

You may hear that that tiny speck of light in the North is the nation's capitol of Pyonyang, but we've done our research and discovered that it's actually Kim Jong-Il sitting on a pile of nukes, in a very well-lit room, masturbating to his own reflection - as a string quartet plays The Red Flag.